Teasing Hurts – What to Do About It

Kids will tease you. Everyone gets teased. But knowing that does not make it any fun. It hurts feelings and is mean.


You cannot stop people from teasing you but you can control what you will do when people do tease you.


Here are some ideas to help you. These ideas will give you ways to deal with teasing.


Talk to Your Self. Think about what you can say to yourself (in your mind) when someone is teasing you. For example you could think, “I don’t like this teasing, but I can handle it.”


Ask yourself, “Is the tease true?” Usually it is not.


Also ask yourself, “Whose opinion is more important . . . the teaser’s or mine?” Think about your good qualities instead of the mean remarks.


Also, tell yourself that God loves you.




Ignore the Teasing. If you get mad or start crying the teaser will just do it more. Ignore the teaser.


Do not look at or respond to the teaser. Pretend that the teaser is invisible and act as if nothing has happened. If you can, walk away from the teaser. You can practice “ignoring” by acting it out with your parents or friends. Have them pretend to tease you then practice ignoring.


Ignoring may not work as well if someone is teasing you all the time. Then you can use one of the other ideas, but for someone who is just being mean to you once it may work.





Use a Special “I Message” This is a specific way to express your feelings.

This message has three parts.

• Tell how you feel
• Tell what makes you feel that way
• Tell what you would like others to do differently.

For example, you could say, “I feel upset when you make fun of my glasses. I would like you to stop.”


This works better in a place like a classroom. When used in other situations, such as recess or on the school bus, it may lead to more teasing if the teaser thinks he is upsetting you.


It is an easy skill to learn to help you deal with many situations. Learn to make eye contact, speak clearly, and use a polite tone of voice.




Visualization. Pictures the words actually “bouncing off” of you. Make it look funny. Written words are bouncing off of your body with a “Boooooiiinggg” sound.


You do not having to accept or believe what is said. Picture the way Nerf balls bounce off a person. Another thing you can do is pretend you have a shield around you that helps the teases a
nd bad words bounce off.


Picture God wrapping you up in a warm hug.




Reframing. Reframing is changing what you think about the negative comments; it is turning the teasing into a compliment.


For example, a kid teases you about your glasses, “Four eyes, four eyes, you have four eyes.”


You could politely respond, “Thanks for noticing my glasses!” The teaser is usually confused, especially when there is not a reaction of anger or frustration.




Agree with the facts. Agreeing with the facts can be one of the easiest ways to handle an insult or tease. The teaser says, “You have so many freckles.” You responds, “Yes, I have a lot of freckles.”


The teaser taunts, “You are a weakling.” You can answer, “I did notice that you can life a lot more weight than I can.”




“So?” The response of saying “so?” or “so what?” to the teaser shows that you don’t care and that the tease doesn’t matter.  Your might find this response simple but effective.




Respond to the tease with a compliment. When your are teased, it is often effective to respond with a compliment. For example, if you are teased about the way you run, you can answer to the teaser, “I noticed that you are a fast runner.”




Use humor. Humor shows that you don’t care about the put-downs or mean remarks. Laughing can often turn a hurtful situation into a funny one.




Ask for help. At times, it is necessary to talk to your teacher or your parents if the teasing gets out of hand.




Get Grown Up Help. If teasing gets violent or mean, or if the teasing is about inappropriate things get some help. Talk you your teachers and to your parents right away.